Holy Cow!!!!!!!!!!!

I executed the perfect 360 nose dive and landed my board right on the ramp, getting more leverage I swooped down the ramp again gathering momentum, I misjudged the jump, swung too early and landed right on my head this time. Game Over flashed across the screen, Tony Hawk, had he seen me make that landing would have sued me for all I was worth. I switched off the gaming console and dug underneath the sofa for my collection of Archie’s Digest.
That had been my routine for the last few days, ever since I agreed to accompany my mom to my native village. I would spend the day cooped up inside playing games, reading comics or surfing the channels. Man was I bored.
My mother at that moment decided to add drudgery to my boredom.
“Having an amazing time, lazing around in the house all day are we” she asked me.
“Oh yeah, definitely” I replied “In fact, I think before we leave I’ll finally complete level 13 of ‘Silent Assassin’”
“I was being sarcastic” said mom, crossing her arms and staring down at me. I totally hate that look; it means she is going to get me to do something I would prefer not to.
“Why don’t you go help your cousins at the stable, they are milking the cow”
“Come-on mom” I answered rolling my eyes “enough with the sarcasm already”.
“Uh-uh Mister, I’m not asking you, I’m telling you, now get going”.
I protested for a while, but my mother is a woman who has an iron will, partly I think, she developed it raising me.
Grumbling, complaining, I traded my comfy sandals for a pair of stiff, hard-worn rubber boots and made my way out to the stables.

My cousins were rather surprised to see me out of the house, their surprise turned to shock and finally disbelief when I explained my reason for being out there.
“You wanna’ milk the cow???” one of them asked “as in, seriously?”
“I wasn’t speaking German was I” I retorted. “Oh well, what the heck, give him a jug and let’s get started”.
Now I’m not exactly afraid of cows, I mean I used to play with the calves, back when I was a kid, but let me tell you this, after spending what seems like eternity in the city, where, forget cows, seeing a sparrow would have surprised me; coming face to face with a cow, the first thing I noticed was the size of the creature. It was enormous. I mean two people could have sat on it’s back with a Chess board in the middle and there could be still some space left over to place a few drinks (that is if a chess board could be balanced on the back, or whether the cow would allow two people to sit on it’s back, either way I wasn’t going to try).

After getting the preliminary instructions and a few demonstrations by my over-eager cousins, I felt I knew, all there was to know about milking a cow.
I approached the beast commissioned to me cautiously. No sooner had I bent down and splashed the udders with water, the cow growled (I swear on my life, it growled; I mean I know technically a cow can’t growl, but I this one did) I was out of the stables like a cork out of a champagne bottle. My cousins, when I ventured back inside were all overcome by fits of howling laughter. “Let them laugh” thought I. A bruised ego is better than a broken jaw. Declining further offers, I sat and observed as my cousins milked it with a carefree attitude.
After that, we all went in for breakfast. Now breakfast here is a noisy affair, and not to mention a caffeine overdose. There’s coffee before breakfast, a cup afterwards, I’m surprised they don’t pour it all over the breakfast too.
The rest of the day, I returned to my normal routine but the cow was on the back of my mind.



The next day, I made my way out to the stables again. My cousins were surprised, “you want to try again?” one of them asked “you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure” I replied.
Once again a jar was thrust into my hand and I went over to the beast. It surveyed me with lazy eyes; I swear it was laughing at me. This time however, I didn’t scramble as soon as I heard it Moo. I stuck to my task and after 30 painfully slow minutes, I had a jug of milk. I wouldn’t have been happier had I held a Nobel Prize. I carried a jug over to the kitchen and insisted the coffee be made for me using that milk only.
The coffee that day, tasted heavenly.
It became a routine with me everyday and surprising myself I actually got quiet good at the job.

Finally, the day came to get back to the city, I was rather sad to leave.
After bidding everyone else good bye, I made my way to the stables and fed the cow some chocolate, it had grown to be one of my best friends.

So what now?
Well I did learn to milk a cow but I’m yet to complete level 13 of ‘Silent Assassin’